{"id":941,"date":"2015-08-09T11:51:44","date_gmt":"2015-08-09T16:51:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/?p=941"},"modified":"2015-10-12T13:27:43","modified_gmt":"2015-10-12T18:27:43","slug":"spank-o-matic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/?p=941","title":{"rendered":"Spank O Matic"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Hmmm&#8230; \u00a0&#8220;Spank O Matic&#8221;&#8230; \u00a0I feel like kinky Ron Popeil &#8211;\u00a0don&#8217;t worry if you don&#8217;t get that one, it&#8217;s obscure even for me \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n<p>The Spank O Matic is my exclusive item for the August 2015 round of Indulgence, and what the name lacks in &#8220;zing&#8221; it makes up for in sheer utilitarian precision:<a href=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/SOM2-Glamor-800.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-1018\" src=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/SOM2-Glamor-800.png\" alt=\"SOM2 Glamor 800\" width=\"800\" height=\"604\" srcset=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/SOM2-Glamor-800.png 800w, http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/SOM2-Glamor-800-300x227.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>And actually this is a bit of an upgrade to the original Spank O Matic. \u00a0A friend who picked one up at Indulgence mentioned that she&#8217;d like some way of knowing how many spanks the various bottoms received. \u00a0She was asking about a chat message when the captive was released, but we all know that that&#8217;s WAY too simple and obvious for me, right?<\/p>\n<p>So I added the counted to the bottom of the control panel. \u00a0It will keep track of the first 9,999 spanks &#8211; past that it&#8217;s up to you. \u00a0I also added a secondary release system &#8211; sort of like a timer, except instead of seconds it works on spanks. \u00a0You set a number of spanks and once your captives bum is just the exact shade of red you wanted it will release them.<\/p>\n<h3>Using The Spank O Matic<\/h3>\n<p>Like all of my gadgets it&#8217;s actually pretty simple &#8211; of course I wrote the scripts so I&#8217;d think that. \u00a0Click on either of the two vertical poles or the round bases to open the main menu which will look something like this:<a href=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/SOM-Main-Menu-User.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-960\" src=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/SOM-Main-Menu-User.png\" alt=\"SOM - Main Menu User\" width=\"349\" height=\"201\" srcset=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/SOM-Main-Menu-User.png 349w, http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/SOM-Main-Menu-User-300x173.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 349px) 100vw, 349px\" \/><\/a>If this happens to be your own Spank O Matic you&#8217;ll also have a\u00a0<span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><strong>[Settings]<\/strong><\/span> button which I&#8217;ll get to a bit further on. \u00a0For now let&#8217;s look at what we&#8217;ve got here:<\/p>\n<table style=\"height: 391px;\" width=\"903\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"width: 100px; text-align: center; vertical-align: top;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Scan.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-955\" src=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Scan.png\" alt=\"{Btn - Scan}\" width=\"90\" height=\"22\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<td style=\"vertical-align: top;\">\n<p>Gets the ball rolling so to speak. \u00a0Clicking the <span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><strong>[Scan]<\/strong><\/span> button will cause the Spank O Matic to look for any avatars within the scan range who are using RLV and have an active relay.<\/p>\n<p>Or as we like to call them, potential victims \ud83d\ude42<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"text-align: center; vertical-align: top;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Self-Bondage.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-956\" src=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Self-Bondage.png\" alt=\"{Btn - Self Bondage}\" width=\"90\" height=\"22\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<td style=\"vertical-align: top;\">\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><strong>Don&#8217;t click this yet!<\/strong><\/span> \u00a0I&#8217;m almost always too late with this warning and people have already figured out what the button does, but just in case you&#8217;re one of the &#8220;read the instructions before clicking buttons&#8221; sorts, the\u00a0<span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><strong>[Self Bondage]<\/strong> <\/span>button causes the Spank O Matic to try and grab the person who clicked the button.<\/p>\n<p>If it&#8217;s successful it will set a random timer &#8211; which the captive of course can&#8217;t see, cause where&#8217;s the fun in that?<\/p>\n<p>Oh! And now I&#8217;ve added the sort of ridiculously obvious to everyone not named Mina auto spanking. \u00a0When you choose the Self Bondage option the spanking motor automatically starts with a randomly set counter &#8211; which of course you can&#8217;t see.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"text-align: center; vertical-align: top;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Close.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-948\" src=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Close.png\" alt=\"{Btn - Close}\" width=\"90\" height=\"22\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<td style=\"vertical-align: top;\">Exactly what it says. \u00a0Clicking this closes the menu and releases the script resources in use.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<h3>Adjusting The Spank O Matic<\/h3>\n<p>Here&#8217;s the part of the instructions where I typically explain that everyone in SL is WAY too tall except for me &#8211; I&#8217;m prefect. \u00a0The trouble with being perfect is that it means that things that fit me &#8211; well, perfectly &#8211; don&#8217;t fit all the other avatars in SL.<\/p>\n<p>Things like every single toy I build.<\/p>\n<p>So I did what I always do and wrote a script. \u00a0It&#8217;s a clever little beast that allows the Spank O Matic to be adjusted to fit just about any avatar. \u00a0There are two sorts of adjustments:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">Captive\u00a0Position &#8211; The captive can adjust her or his position up and down using the Page Up \/ Page Down keys on their computer. \u00a0He or she can also move forward or backwards using the Cursor Left\u00a0and Right\u00a0keys, and lastly he or she can adjust the little &#8220;butt cheeks&#8221; prim &#8211; it slowly turns red as the spanking continues &#8211; by pressing the cursor up and down keys.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">Prim Adjustments &#8211; Here&#8217;s the clever bit. \u00a0If you click on either of the two horizontal bars you&#8217;ll see several pairs of\u00a0blue and green arrows appear. \u00a0Clicking\u00a0a blue arrow\u00a0moves that prim and any of its associated prims upwards. \u00a0Clicking the green button moves it down.<\/p>\n<p>If you&#8217;re the owner of this Spank O Matic, once you&#8217;ve adjusted the prims to the perfect fit you can save that as the default position using the\u00a0<span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><strong>[Save Pos]<\/strong><\/span> button in the settings menu, or if you&#8217;re the current captive, by pressing both the Page Up and Page Down keys at the same time.<\/p>\n<h3>Putting The Matic In Spank O Matic<\/h3>\n<p>Once you&#8217;ve got your captive all captured and your prims all positioned it&#8217;s time for some fun. \u00a0And on the Spank O Matic that means spanking, spanking, spanking!<\/p>\n<p>You may have noticed the panel hanging off the right hand upright post &#8211; the one with a couple of arrows and a big number 0 on it? \u00a0That&#8217;s the speed control for the electric motor. \u00a0There are three speeds which you can adjust up and down with the up and down arrows. \u00a0The number will change to indicate the current speed setting. \u00a0You can also click the number itself to stop the motor immediately.<\/p>\n<p>The Spank O Matic knows whether the captive is a boy or girl and has a set of appropriate sound effects for either in addition to the sounds of the motor and that lovely clapping sound of leather hitting hiney \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n<p>Below the speed control is the counter I mentioned earlier. \u00a0It will dutifully record each swat &#8211; up to 9,999 &#8211; the captive receives.<\/p>\n<h3>The Captive Menu<\/h3>\n<p>In addition to the spanking there are a few other things you can do once you&#8217;ve got someone in your clutches:<a href=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/SOM2-Captive-Menu.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-1019\" src=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/SOM2-Captive-Menu.png\" alt=\"SOM2 Captive Menu\" width=\"347\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/SOM2-Captive-Menu.png 347w, http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/SOM2-Captive-Menu-290x300.png 290w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 347px) 100vw, 347px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<table>\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"width: 100px; text-align: center; vertical-align: top;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Release.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-963\" src=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Release.png\" alt=\"{Btn - Release}\" width=\"90\" height=\"22\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<td style=\"text-align: left; vertical-align: top;\">Releases the captive and removes all RLV restrictions.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"text-align: center; vertical-align: top;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/BTN-Counter.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-1017\" src=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/BTN-Counter.png\" alt=\"BTN - Counter\" width=\"90\" height=\"22\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<td style=\"vertical-align: top;\">Opens a secondary menu where you can set the number of spanks the captive will receive before being automatically released.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"text-align: center; vertical-align: top;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Timer.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-964\" src=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Timer.png\" alt=\"{Btn - Timer}\" width=\"90\" height=\"22\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<td style=\"vertical-align: top;\">This opens a secondary menu where you can set a delayed release to free your captive after you&#8217;ve made good your escape.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"text-align: center; vertical-align: top;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Volume-UD.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-965\" src=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Volume-UD.png\" alt=\"{Btn - Volume UD}\" width=\"90\" height=\"76\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<td style=\"vertical-align: top;\">\n<p>Allows you to set the volume of the Spank O Matic sound effects. The up and down arrow buttons raise or lower the volume. Clicking the\u00a0<span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><strong>[Volume]<\/strong><\/span> button itself will alternate from 0 to 100% volume.<\/p>\n<p>Note if the owner has disabled sounds on the device the volume buttons will not appear.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"text-align: center; vertical-align: top;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-954\" src=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Save-Pos.png\" alt=\"{Btn - Save Pos}\" width=\"90\" height=\"22\" \/><\/td>\n<td style=\"vertical-align: top;\">This button is only available to the owner of the Spank O Matic. Clicking it saves the device&#8217;s current adjustments so there&#8217;s no need to fiddle with them in the future.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"text-align: center; vertical-align: top;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Close.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-948\" src=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Close.png\" alt=\"{Btn - Close}\" width=\"90\" height=\"22\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<td style=\"vertical-align: top;\">Closes the menu freeing the script resources used by it.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<h3>Setting The Settings<\/h3>\n<p>See? \u00a0I told you I&#8217;d get to the\u00a0<strong><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">[Settings]<\/span>\u00a0<\/strong>button didn&#8217;t I? \u00a0This is only available to the owner of the Spank O Matic so the button only shows up for them. \u00a0Clicking it will give you a menu like this:<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/SOM-Settings-Menu.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-961\" src=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/SOM-Settings-Menu.png\" alt=\"SOM - Settings Menu\" width=\"348\" height=\"435\" srcset=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/SOM-Settings-Menu.png 348w, http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/SOM-Settings-Menu-240x300.png 240w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 348px) 100vw, 348px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<table>\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"width: 100px; text-align: center; vertical-align: top;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Access-UD.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-946\" src=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Access-UD.png\" alt=\"{Btn - Access UD}\" width=\"90\" height=\"49\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<td style=\"vertical-align: top;\">These buttons allow the owner to control who can use the Spank O Matic&#8217;s menu. \u00a0Access level has no effect on who can be caught by the device, simply who can open the menu to use it. \u00a0The options are\u00a0<strong>Public<\/strong>,\u00a0<strong>Group<\/strong> &#8211; meaning active members of the same group to which\u00a0the Spank O Matic belongs, or\u00a0<strong>Owner<\/strong> &#8211; meaning only the device&#8217;s owner can access the menus.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"width: 100px; text-align: center; vertical-align: top;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Self-Bondage.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-956\" src=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Self-Bondage.png\" alt=\"{Btn - Self Bondage}\" width=\"90\" height=\"22\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<td style=\"vertical-align: top;\">\n<p>You might recall the <strong><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">[Self Bondage]<\/span> <\/strong>button on the main screen &#8211; the one that tries to grab the person clicking it and bind them for a random amount of time? \u00a0Well the <strong><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">[Self Bondage]<\/span> <\/strong>button in the\u00a0<strong><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">[Settings]<\/span><\/strong> menu is how you can limit that random amount of time.<\/p>\n<p>Clicking this opens a secondary timer menu which you can use to set the\u00a0<span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><strong>maximum<\/strong><\/span> amount of time for the self bondage timer. \u00a0The actual time will still be randomly set some time between 1 minute and whatever this value is set to.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"width: 100px; text-align: center; vertical-align: top;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Range-UD.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-951\" src=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Range-UD.png\" alt=\"{Btn - Range UD}\" width=\"90\" height=\"49\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<td style=\"vertical-align: top;\">Set the maximum range the Spank O Matic will look for potential captives.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"width: 100px; text-align: center; vertical-align: top;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Save-Pos.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-954\" src=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Save-Pos.png\" alt=\"{Btn - Save Pos}\" width=\"90\" height=\"22\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<td style=\"vertical-align: top;\">Saves the current position of all of the prims as the default. \u00a0When a captive is released, or the\u00a0<span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><strong>[Reset]<\/strong><\/span> button is pressed the prims will all return to this position.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"width: 100px; text-align: center; vertical-align: top;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Sounds-On-Off.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-958\" src=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Sounds-On-Off.png\" alt=\"{Btn - Sounds On Off}\" width=\"90\" height=\"22\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<td style=\"vertical-align: top;\">This button allows the owner of the device to completely disable the sound effects. \u00a0Handy when you live in close quarters and don&#8217;t want to disturb the neighbors.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"text-align: center; vertical-align: top;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Reset.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-953\" src=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Reset.png\" alt=\"{Btn - Reset}\" width=\"90\" height=\"22\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<td style=\"vertical-align: top;\">Returns all of the prims to their last saved position, and resets all of the scripts.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"text-align: center; vertical-align: top;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Main.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-949\" src=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Main.png\" alt=\"{Btn - Main}\" width=\"90\" height=\"22\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<td style=\"vertical-align: top;\">Return to the main menu.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"text-align: center; vertical-align: top;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Close.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-948\" src=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Btn-Close.png\" alt=\"{Btn - Close}\" width=\"90\" height=\"22\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<td style=\"vertical-align: top;\">Closes the menu freeing the script resources used but it.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p>And that about wraps it up. \u00a0If you&#8217;d like a Spank O Matic all your own you pick one up in my <a href=\"http:\/\/maps.secondlife.com\/secondlife\/Orbitalis\/52\/108\/34\" target=\"_blank\">shop in Orbitalis<\/a>, or my <a href=\"https:\/\/marketplace.secondlife.com\/stores\/64862\" target=\"_blank\">Marketplace shop<\/a> once\u00a0I figure out the new Viewer Managed Marketplace. \u00a0If you have any questions or run into any problems please <a href=\"secondlife:\/\/\/app\/agent\/bc65c7b9-ac55-460c-bcc4-46dfcc7a7e52\/im\" target=\"_blank\">drop me an IM in SL<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Thanks for checking out my gizmos&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Mina-Sig.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-1027 alignleft\" src=\"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Mina-Sig.png\" alt=\"Mina Sig\" width=\"191\" height=\"95\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hmmm&#8230; \u00a0&#8220;Spank O Matic&#8221;&#8230; \u00a0I feel like kinky Ron Popeil &#8211;\u00a0don&#8217;t worry if you don&#8217;t get that one, it&#8217;s obscure even for me \ud83d\ude42 The Spank O Matic is my exclusive item for the August 2015 round of Indulgence, and what the name lacks in &#8220;zing&#8221; it makes up for in sheer utilitarian precision: And [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1026,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-941","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-howto"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/941","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=941"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/941\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1048,"href":"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/941\/revisions\/1048"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1026"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=941"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=941"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/diabolicalsuperscience.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=941"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}